Shoutout to part of my support system from back hoMe, a memorable weekend, and to an amazing show they put on! After talking to some people on campus, I realized I haven’t been blogging as much as I wish I could be. But it’s so rewarding to be reminded that people want to keep reading because they can relate, feel fulfilled and become empowered–so keep reaching out if you want to talk or want me to address anything in a future post! These conversations are what inspire my posts! Here’s one on how some of us feel about loosely throwing around mental health terms!
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Ever have that awkward conversation where someone is telling a story and gets to the part about how something was “sooo dep-”
And then they stop, give you a quick glance and change the word to “upsetting” or “awful?”
To be honest, I would much rather have that awkward moment than go through any more conversations where people throw around some terms like they mean less than they actually do. The people who make the effort to change what they’re saying shows me that they care. It shows me that they’re learning. And it shows me that they’re trying.
But then there are people who never seem to get it.
I always say this and I mean it–I hate when people feel like they have to walk on eggshells when they’re around me. However, there’s a difference between that and just being a sensitive and thoughtful person.
The amount of times I hear people say things along the lines of “I was so depressed because…” or “…and it was the most depressing thing ever” is too many to keep track of. Because more people are now comfortable talking to me about their mental health, sometimes these are serious and meaningful conversations. However, other times these conversations have nothing to do with someone’s actual health or well-being.
Every time this happens, I cringe a little and cautiously look up at the person to see if they noticed my disappointment.
Each time I hear someone loosely throw the word “depression” around like it’s a meaningless term, I get this gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach.
And every single time a friend uses that word to describe something that isn’t remotely close to its meaning or severity, I lose a little faith.
I know some of you may think this is such a dramatic response to people using a word that’s used all over the world on a daily basis.
But it’s not.
I don’t think that it’s too much to ask for to have people be respectful of others and what they may have or may be going through in life.
You would never tell someone that they look like they have Parkinson’s Disease because of the way they walk. You would never tell someone that you feel like you have Alzheimer’s Disease, unless your memory is truly starting to worry you. And you would never call something cancerous, unless it was truly that debilitating.
Some of you would, but I know I would not.
Saying any of those things is just insensitive. Whether the person you are talking to has personally been through something or not, there are people that are suffering and struggling from those illnesses on a daily basis. People endure a level of pain that we can never imagine. Those medical terms may mean one thing to us, but they dictate others’ lives with entirely different meanings.
In the same way, depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, anorexia, bulimia, schizophrenia–the list goes on–dictate people’s lives in ways you and I will never truly understand. Each person living with any of these conditions has their own symptoms and lifestyles that may or may not be affected by these HEALTH concerns.
Just because they are placed under Psychiatric Disorders, they are typically given a different connotation or stigma based on different societies. They’re not seen as the health conditions that they truly are. And I don’t know about you, but I cannot accept that.
I can’t keep hearing my friends say how a show made them depressed–when in fact it just made them upset or emotional. I can’t watch people talk about how the world news is making them depressed–when there are kids who are actually suffering with depression because of that world hunger, poverty and war. I can’t keep my mouth shut every single time someone says something that makes me disappointed.
Yet, I do and I know a lot of people do the same.
Over text, I call people out on it all the time because it’s so much easier to think it out. But in person, I just let it go sometimes. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t get myself to say what I want.
And I know that’s something I write about all the time–DON’T THINK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK–IT DOESN’T MATTER!
Even though I preach it, I know it’s always harder to follow through with it. But I also know that this is something that we can all work towards achieving together!
Everyone’s entitled to say or do what they want. But hurting someone should always be a limit. Ignorance and hostility will never truly help someone in any situation, so why can’t we all just stray away from them?
Someone once called Trump “retarded,” and despite my views on Trump, I obviously got angry and called that person out about using that word. He said that he has the right to say whatever he wants and that he can use that word if he wants. And that’s true. He does have the right to do so.
But just know that words that are attached to medical conditions have a different meaning in people’s lives. Just because you may have not experienced a certain reality or live a carefree life, that does not mean that is how the world is. And more people, including myself, will hopefully educate others because we also have the right to do so.
I have a cousin with special needs and know how the word “retarded” originated versus how it is used now–so no, you will not use that word around me in a negative way without getting an educational response.
Growing up, my sister and I dealt with words like “obese” and “anorexic” (I myself used the word anorexia around her loosely and I got made fun of for my weight all the time) and it served as obstacles during our childhood–so no, you will not make fun of people around me using those terms.
I have struggled with mental health–so no, you will not say you’re depressed when you’re just sad, or having an anxiety attack when you’re just a little worried, or that you’re gonna kill or cut yourself when you’re trying to be dramatic.
Because these are real hardships that don’t just happen in our minds.
Because these are real medical conditions that have to be treated.
Because people really do struggle: with mental disabilities, body shaming, self harm and much more.
Because these are not lifestyles we choose, but some have to live with.
And you making fun of those conditions only reinforce stigmas. These stigmas only do harm when we’re trying to heal.
You do have the right to say what you want. But you do not have the right to make fun of, belittle or hurt the lives of any individuals who are living with a chronic or acute illness (or no health concerns for that matter).
I think it’s so important to joke around and have fun–but just know when to stop and be considerate of the world around you. You never know how one word can change a person’s life!
Just think about how amazing it would be if we all were there for each other and chose to live and love and be happy–without making anyone else’s struggles any worse.
