Therapy Can Change Your Life Too

A good friend sent me this video last year and it was definitely inspiring to see how therapy has changed different individuals’ lives!

If you decide not to watch the 5 minute video, I’ve just summarized some of the main things I resonated with while watching the video.

Describe In One Word How You Felt BEFORE Going to Therapy

Lost—Conflicted—Sad–Chaotic–Numb

I agree with the five individuals in the video and would add the following: Lonely–Empty–Defeated–Confused–Guilt–Fear–Anger.

Before going to therapy, I was silent about my mental health. I spoke to a couple of friends about it, but for the most part, I followed the norm of believing in the stigmas associated with mental health.

Because I myself was not ready to accept that my mental health was not at its peak, I allowed myself to suffer to a greater extent. I was full of guilt for feeling the way I did, felt like I had nobody to turn to, and was overwhelmed with levels of frustration and emptiness that I was not used to.

DELANY
“I felt like my friends only wanted to be around me when I was my 100% goofy, super happy self.”

Like Delaney, I always did (and sometimes still do) believe that the people around me only want to be around me when I’m my 100% super bubbly, happy self.

It’s an awful feeling thinking that your friends are not really true friends when they walk away at moments you need them the most. However, the reality is that many people are just not that comfortable with crying, sadness, or non-happy feelings.

Which sucks–but it’s just the reality of it. We’ve been conditioned to boast about our successes and share in each others joys. However, when someone is faced with a hurdle, we generally don’t know what the right thing to do is.

So sometimes there are those friends who walk away when you need them the most. But most of the time, those friends just may not know what to do or say. Don’t shut them out or cut them out of your life without giving it some time and thought! More likely than not, it’s just a situation that needs to be talked through or worked out together.

“You often think something had to have happened. There had to have been an event and now you’re sad…But sometimes you’re just sad.”

I always thought that my depression was because of my grandfather’s death. That definitely triggered it, but it was not the reason behind it all.

Sometimes you feel a certain way without exactly knowing why or how you feel that way. And that’s okay. That’s what therapy or just talking out your feelings helps unpack.

There does not need to be a specific event behind why you feel a certain way, and there is definitely nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do for “no reason.”

TREYE
“In the community of black men, the topic of therapy is not talked about.”

The whole reason I started this blog–but because of the South Asian community not talking about therapy, and all aspects of mental health. These stigmas are what are preventing our community members from seeking the resources they need.

If you think you–or anyone in your life could benefit from therapy (which really everyone can), take that first step: do some research, talk to someone for guidance, make an appointment.

We usually think that these stigmas lie with the older generations. But no matter how much we push for being more aware and more accepting–these taboos are still engrained in some of our minds.

Going to therapy is taking care of our health. And whether or not we care about what others think–we first need to accept that it’s okay and important ourselves.

“The system is not really set up for everyone to have access to it [therapy] and that’s not okay.”

YES. It really is not okay that not everyone has the ability to find or utilize health resources–including mental health ones. This needs to change and a big thing I’m trying to explore in school. My next post is going to be on Low Cost Alternatives or Options and covers this more–so stay tuned!

KYLE
“People can think that going to therapy means that you’re mentally unstable. I would try to erase those qualms.”

Gasp. “What’s wrong with you?””Are you going crazy?” “Why are you seeing a shrink?”

Okay I don’t think anyone really says that last one anymore, but still. All of this needs to stop. Nothing is wrong with you. You are not going crazy. And you are seeing a health professional.

As a normal human being, you are going through things personally or health-wise. As a normal human being, you want to better understand what’s going on in your life. As a normal human being, you want to take care of your health and well-being.

And going to therapy is one option for people to do just that.

“It’s literally like talking to a friend whose job is to just listen to you, talk to you and provide objective advice.”

It’s their job to listen, but more importantly they (most) care about what you have to say. In non-judgmental conversations, mental health care providers are supposed to provide feedback based on their expertise regarding your feelings, emotions, thoughts, history, experiences, background, and other aspects of your life.

Whether you feel more comfortable talking things through with a stranger, or enjoy speaking to someone like a friend, having a therapist can fulfill that role.

JAME
“It was a very cathartic feeling because it allowed me to grieve.”

Going to therapy allowed me to release burdens off my shoulder that I didn’t even know I was carrying. In the beginning, I would apologize to my therapist for tearing up. Mid-way through my sessions though, I was crying for reasons I didn’t even know–and felt GREAT afterwards.

There were a lot of things I had not worked through in my mind that had accumulated for years. Just a summer of sessions allowed me to release those emotions, feelings and thoughts.

By simply talking to a stranger for 50 minutes a day, once a week, my mind and body felt exponentially free.

“It was very important to have another black woman therapist. It feels good to be able to speak to a therapist and relay certain things and they don’t think you’re making it up.”

My first, longest and favorite mental health care provider was an older white man–so in no way similar to me😂 So this statement all depends on why you are going to therapy and how the provider is as a person/professional.

But I do agree with her for the most part. When I tried finding a therapist earlier this year, talking to a white female who had no knowledge about law school was not satisfying in any way (and more frustrating) for me as I was trying to adjust to and feel comfortable in a predominantly white competitive law school environment.

Finding an Indian (even Gujarati) provider who can relate to my family, cultural, and societal background, pressures, and experiences would make sessions run more smoothly. Talking to someone who understands and knows that I am not making things up or exaggerating would help me feel safer, more comfortable and more confident to speak about everything.

And I know it would allow older people to feel the same about going to therapy–something that is so important but not seen enough.

“Learning to go through the feels. So often we’re taught to suppress them and keep it moving and act like we’re okay. If you’re not okay, that’s fine.”

In the South Asian community, we’re encouraged not to cry, to smile through it all, be happy, and boast successes while hiding our pain, sadness, and fears. Moving on from situations without resolving them and acting like we’re okay is not okay.

Therapy helped me understand how to express my feelings rather than suppressing them. I became aware of what my mind and body needed from me when it came to my feelings and emotions. Talking it out, having discussions, and finding solutions.That’s what I needed. Not wiping away my tears, ignoring the situation, and moving on as if nothing happened. Relaying your needs to yourself and others allows you to work through “the feels” even if you may not have a therapist with you!

EMILY
“You don’t have to suffer from anxiety or depression to go to therapy….everyone would benefit from therapy.”

Reiterating from above: EVERYONE CAN BENEFIT FROM THERAPY. You don’t have to have a certain condition–you may just want someone to help you talk through things. A lot of mental health professionals only really give you a diagnosis (if they even do) for insurance purposes. They know that one thing written down on paper does not define their patients. There are families health histories, environments, school, work, relationships, deaths, and so much more working together to make people feel, act, and behave the ways they do. Therapy allows individuals to work through the specifics and the broad nature of those factors impacting their lives.