So you made the decision to finally go to therapy.
You walk down what seems to be the longest hallway in your life.
You finally turn and face a door that’s open waiting for you to begin your new journey.
You knock and step into a small room full of books, quiet music, and a pleasant aroma.
You quietly sit down on a couch full of pillows and begin tapping your feet and moving your fingers around, not sure what else to do with yourself.
Thoughts are racing in your head: why you’re here, what he’s going to ask you, what you’re going to eat later today, what’s wrong with you, why you’re so distracted.
And then your therapist tells you that we’re going to try something new: meditation.
That’s right, meditation—forgetting about all of those thoughts in your head and focusing on you in that current moment. Not thinking about what you’re going to eat later, but instead focusing on self-reflection. Not worrying about everything that’s wrong, but instead focusing on just your breathing.
Well, that was the last thing I was capable of doing the first time I was told to meditate. My mind is always full of thoughts chasing other thoughts that somehow meet and produce baby thoughts. And pretty soon my head is just a big not so happy family of thoughts that take over every aspect of my life!
So when my doctor talked about meditation for the first time, I was obviously terrified. He was a trauma specialist, and wanted to try out hypnotherapy during one of my sessions. This required me to focus on the flame of 
a candle that he lit up for me before closing my eyes. And even during the hypnotherapy, I had to focus on that flame or whatever it was that he wanted me to imagine.
In the beginning, that was nearly impossible for me. I would focus on just the candle for about a second before my mind wandered off doing what it did best.
So he told me that I had to go home and practice this type of meditation. At the time, I didn’t think anything would help me focus on one thing at a time. However, my therapist had faith in me and truly believed practice is the only way I would be able to see progress in his hypnotherapy attempts.
The hypnotherapy is another discussion altogether, but, I could not agree with him anymore about the practice leading to progress. I didn’t understand what types of meditation worked for me over night. It took months before I was able to develop and maintain a routine that matched me and my life. It required testing out different types of meditation and continuously practicing those methods in order to improve my concentration and focus.
Whether someone is struggling with their mental health or not, I think it is so important to incorporate some type of meditation into their lifestyle. I’ll admit, I don’t meditate now as much as I wish I did. However, with Day 21 of the #4mind4body challenge put on by Mental Health America, I thought I’d share just some of the ways I meditate to start—or end—my day! Hopefully these suggestions will help motivate all of us to take some time out of our days to focus on ourselves!
Since my therapist encouraged me to practice focusing on a flame, that was my first method of experimenting with meditation. Every morning, I would light a candle and just stare at it. My personal goal was to just stare at the flame and think about nothing else. For some people, that may seem simple. However, for me personally, only thinking about a flame for a couple of minutes was not easy. At times, I would think about everything else besides the flame. But I kept trying. Every day I was able to block out another thought so that I could concentrate on just the flame. To try and challenge myself, I would close my eyes and try to imagine nothing else besides the flame that’s physically in front of me.
While I was experimenting with the candle, I also went back to doing something I used to do when I was younger. *In no way do I want to push my religion onto anyone or preach Hinduism on this blog* However, I do believe that there are different ways of practicing mediation for different people. For some people, that may be turning to religious or spiritual beliefs. I didn’t usually turn to religion, but one thing I did turn to happened to be meditating with a rudraksha mala 
(basically a string of prayer beads made out of the rudraksha seeds). These seeds have a variety of significances and benefits for people who follow Hinduism.
For me, it has helped with concentration and focus. In the morning, I would sit cross-legged on the floor with a rudraksha mala in my right hand. With the string resting on my middle finger, I would push down on each bead until I came right back to the beginning. With each push, I would say a mantra. Once again, I had the same issue of my mind wandering while I practiced this meditation. However, since it was more related to religion, I would feel awful if I was supposed to be concentrating on God but was thinking about food or my friends instead. Slowly, I trained my mind to only focus on the beads and whatever mantra or saying I chose for the day.
It wasn’t even a religious thing for me at that point—it was more of a spiritual and self-reflective activity. Focusing on the beads for a few minutes out of my day allowed me to clear my head of any unnecessary thoughts. It pushed me to focus on what was important at that exact moment—whether it was saying a particular mantra, thanking a specific God, or reflecting on my well-being.
After a few months of trying candles and rudraksha malas, I started listening to meditation videos as well. In the beginning, these videos weirded me out so much. There was always relaxing (which I thought was creepy at the time) music, a soothing (which I thought was uncomfortable at the time) voice speaking to me, and a calm (which I thought was awkward at the time) environment set up for me to take a moment to focus on myself.
I initially started with a 20-minute video—which was a HUGE mistake! As a beginner, that was way too long of a time to try and focus on just meditating. I learned my mistake and tried finding 5-minute videos, like this, instead. These guided meditations can seem intimidating at first. You don’t know where to put your hands, what to do with your body and whether your eyes should stay closed the entire time or not.
But they’re GUIDED meditations for a reason! The “creepy” voice is truly guiding you towards achieving a moment of self-reflection. As long as you listen to them, do your best to follow their words, and concentrate on just the content of the audio, you will be on the path of achieving the act of meditation.
With time, I slowly moved on to longer videos. I made my way up to 20-minute videos, such as this. And with time, it became easier to make it through these guided meditations. I wasn’t struggling to focus as much. Although my mind still wandered here and there, I was able to use the voices to redirect my attention to being present in that moment.
Some of these videos suggest using headphones, some say to sit cross-legged, some recommend lying down, and others say you can even do this on the way to work on the train! I realized that meditation is not restricted to one position or one simple style. In addition to trying various positions, I began changing up what I considered to be forms of meditation.
Trying out new yoga poses to improve my strength and flexibility? Meditation.
Writing down my thoughts or plans in the morning? Meditation.
Taking a stroll outside and feeling one with nature? Meditation.
Listening to music, a podcast, or audio book on the commute to school, work, or the city? Meditation.
Meditation became so much more than just staring at a candle or closing my eyes and trying to listen to guided videos. Meditation became anything that allowed me to simply focus on me and the present moment. Meditation for me is simply breathing.
Even if I’m in the middle of an argument/disagreement, stressing out about a deadline, or am getting nervous while doing something, sometimes all I need to do is breathe and look down at my warrior tattoo. It brings everything into perspective for me, allows me to focus on what’s important at the moment, and guides me towards doing what is best for myself.
Meditation can be whatever you want it to be. I know the standard form of meditating can drive people away from the concept because of how hard it seems to basically do nothing for a few minutes out of your day. But once you get the hang of it, it can make such a big difference in your life! And you can personalize it to your liking!
Go write a story, paint a picture, lay under the stars, stare at the clouds, learn some yoga, recite things, close your eyes. WHATEVER!
Just do whatever it is that makes you feel at peace. Turn that activity into a form of self-reflection. Allow yourself to breathe out the negative thoughts and breathe in confidence. Push away any I can’t feelings and turn them into I can. Understand that you can turn obstacles into lessons. Breathe in self-respect. Breathe in self-care. Breathe in self-love.
Just breathe…that’s honestly what meditation is. And trust me, it’s possible. Just keep trying❤
