13 Reasons Why: A Hit or Miss

*Warning: there are 13 Reasons Why spoilers and details that may be triggering. If you are struggling and know the contents of this show (mental health, sexual assault, suicide, etc) will make things worse, I don’t recommend reading ahead.

As always, I’m always here to talk, and if you or anyone you know needs help, there are resources available for you, including the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.

Since I don’t have that major stress of studying and filling out applications anymore, binge-watching Netflix shows and movies is something I have recently been guilty of. I figured I’d watch everything now before I don’t have time to do anything besides study and cry. Yes, very healthy I know.

Part of this binge-watching included starting and finishing Season 2 of 13 Reasons Why within a week. Since watching the first season last year, I’ve always had mixed feeling about this show. And I know there are even more controversies that exist among mental health professionals, victims, people struggling with mental health, and just any other person who knows about the show’s contents.

13 Reasons Why is a Netflix series based on the 2007 novel Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. The show is centered on Hannah Baker, a teenage girl who committed suicide and who left behind 13 cassette tapes on which she records the reasons why she chose to end her life. 13 Reasons Why explores the lives of high school students, the people in their lives, the bullying they deal with and the factors that play a role in transforming their lives.

My little cousin asked me a while back to write a post about 13 Reasons Why; and honestly I had no idea what to say because my thoughts are all over the place about this topic. But here’s an attempt to describe my take on 13 Reasons Why:

I have mixed feelings because I believe the Netflix series has both positive and negative aspects. No two people are the same, and I think that this show can be a hit or miss, depending on the person watching it. We’ve all had our own experiences, and I think this show can either shed light on important topics or do more damage. Personally, I think the team behind 13 Reasons Why has started something that is new and necessary. Obviously I don’t think it’s perfect, and I’ve seen some flaws; but I think the show is accomplishing a major step in the discussion of mental health. Again, that’s how my experiences have shaped my perspective of this show—and I will definitely not say it’s a show for everyone.

CONS

Triggering
The biggest concern I’m sure many people have is how 13 Reasons Why can be so triggering to watch. As an individual who has struggled with mental health and topics depicted in the series, I can attest to the fact that it is not easy to watch. I watched Season 1 during my second semester of senior year, when I myself was dealing with personal mental health struggles. Watching this show at that time was triggering—there were multiple times I had to press pause and exit Netflix because it became too hard to watch. There are some graphic and realistic (along with unrealistic) portrayals of what people may be going through. And you or someone you know may have gone through something very similar to that situation. Watching those scenes, reliving your own experiences, having flashbacks flood your mind—those are all things that can be dangerous for yourself and your health. Even when I watched Season 2, there were moments where I just did not feel good. I really wanted to get through the episodes so I could write this post. But I definitely do not recommend watching how many episodes in a row as I did last week. Sometimes I just had to talk to someone on the phone or in person to let go of everything that I took in or any pain that may have resurfaced from the show.

Not Enough Warnings/Resources
I think there was a lack of warnings or resources to help people prepare for what they would be witnessing. I do believe that the team did a much better job with providing warnings and resources during the second season. However, it could have been a lot better. There were general warnings letting the audience know that there will be graphic scenes associated with sexual assault and substance abuse. However, I was never prepared for what I actually witnessed. If I was a person with mental health diagnoses, I would like to be warned that my symptoms will be visually represented in an episode. If I was a victim of sexual assault, I would like to be warned that a scene may make me relive those experiences. If I was a survivor of a suicide attempt, I would like to be warned that I will be seeing someone else go through a similar situation. Regardless of the circumstances, a warning about something that can cause so much distress is so necessary. Yet those specific warnings were missing.

Not an Accurate Discussion on Mental Health
Although I think 13 Reasons Why is taking a good general step in the discussion of mental health, I don’t think there is an accurate discussion being presented through the episodes themselves. In my opinion, the show is centered on bullying in high school and how bullying itself leads to suicide attempts. There are other aspects that are shown throughout the seasons, but I don’t remember psychiatric details being explained. We see Jessica recovering with life after she is raped, but never are educated on PTSD. We see Hannah struggling with a slut-shaming culture in high school, but never hear about how identity formation and this culture’s snowball effect can trigger a depressive episode. We see Justin dealing with substance abuse, but never are informed about how an upbringing or environmental situations can contribute to addiction. The show hits on such important topics, but the specific words that are vital for having a conversation about mental health are not used as often as they could be.

Tries to Place a Blame for Suicide
Each tape that Hannah leaves behind ultimately blames one person for her decision to commit suicide. Then, the trial involving her parents suing Liberty High insinuates that there is always an exact reason behind why someone commits suicide. The people on the tapes and the school may have contributed to Hannah’s health and how she viewed her worth. However, in the end, she made the decision to commit suicide. Bullying itself did not cause her to commit suicide. The people on the tapes themselves did not cause her to commit suicide. Her school did not cause her to commit suicide. There is no one reason behind why people commit suicide—and going off of my previous point—there is generally a whole string of mental health pieces that may lead to that final decision.

Copycat Effect
There are concerns that the content of 13 Reasons Why may be sparking a “Copycat Effect,” in which young viewers may start having a higher inclination to resort to suicide. Teenagers and young adults may start feeling worse as a result of the show, may gain ideas on how to carry out suicide attempts, or may begin to believe that every point in the storyline is accurate. I agree with the concern about how the content may lead individuals to feel or act—but I do not agree with the extent of this being a problem that others believe it to be (Explanations below)

PROS

Trying to Start a Conversation
In a not so perfect way, the team behind 13 Reasons Why has succeeded in something that I’m such a big advocate for: Starting a Conversation. The show touches upon topics that we tend to shy away from in our communities. They are themes that are stigmatized or sensitive; and the easiest thing people resort to is ignoring them. That is the worst thing that we can do—as victims, survivors, supporters, loved ones, or advocates. It is so hard for people to open up about their experiences because of the stigma that is attached to what they go through. There is so much that goes on in our lives and our minds; and we’re encouraged to celebrate our successes or share our happiness. However, when something seems different or unknown, we freeze. We’re not educated on how to share sensitive concerns and sometimes we don’t know how to ask for help. At the same time, those around us don’t know how to be there for us—because we are hiding so much from them. We can’t support one another if we are not aware of the severity of our situations. 13 Reasons Why takes a step to use an entertainment platform that reaches millions to shed light on these stigmatized topics. It’s allowing viewers to witness, learn and empathize with people who may be struggling.

Radical Empathy
One of the biggest backlashes that the team behind 13 Reasons Why has received is due to the graphic images that are shown throughout the series. In addition to the horrific rape scenes, there are 2 specific moments that have stirred up the most controversy. During Season 1, we witness Hannah Baker actually committing her suicide. We see the exact steps she took, the blood that she bled, and the reaction of her parents finding her in the bathtub. The second scene is towards the end of Season 2, where we witness Tyler Down getting severely attacked and sexually assaulted in a bathroom stall. We see him being beaten, the graphic images of him being sexually violated, and the physical and emotional trauma that he is left with as a result. At first, even I was mortified that the creators would include scenes like this. However, after thinking about it more and watching Beyond the Reasons (explained more later), I realized the importance of Radical Empathy. This is the concept of completely empathizing with someone—even someone who is different from you. Watching these scenes, as disturbing as they were, made me feel like I was right there with them feeling a certain level of pain. The team wants the audiences to share humanity with that person, because as extremely painful it is to watch, we would never want that to happen to anyone else. At least 1 in 6 men have been sexually assaulted. We never talk about male victims. But it’s time we do–and this is doing just that. There are some things that we can never understand from books or recollections. And although these scenes are not for everyone, from my perspective, these visual representations allow people to see the severity of what people go through. Some things that people have gone through can be so difficult to explain in words. And others not understanding makes things even worse. This is an attempt at allowing people to understand why people’s lives change forever to such an extreme extent.

See a Transformation
Through the visual representations in the series, we witness many transformations that characters go through: Clay and others dealing with Hannah’s death, Jessica dealing with PTSD, Alex recovering from his own suicide attempt, Tyler responding to his sexual assault, etc. I think that this is the first representation in media where I’ve seen this kind of transformation involving various life and health elements coming together. I do think that some details were unnecessary or unrealistic, and I really wished that they talked about these factors more in the show itself. However, it is so important to see how mental health is so complex, and 13 Reasons Why attempts to depict people’s journeys. For example, the last episode involves Tyler coming to the Liberty High dance with the intent of executing a shooting. I in no way defend or support individuals who choose to carry out mass shootings. However, far too many times in media, mass shooters are simply equated with mental health. For someone who has a history of mental health struggles, that is something that has always irritated me. Having mental health disorders does not mean someone is crazy, and it definitely does not mean that we’re all going to start mass shootings. It is dependent on each individual, their experiences, and the way they choose to respond to their experiences. It’s not mental health. In this case, we see Tyler’s history of being known as the “weird loner” who stalks people with his camera. We then see him mix in with the “wrong” crowd, leading to some anger management concerns. We see him being bullied throughout the show. And we even see him being sexually assaulted. In the final scene, we see his attempt to carry out a school shooting. Through this transformation, at the end, we don’t just see Tyler as a loner whose mental health is driving him to shoot up his school. We have seen what he has gone through physically and emotionally—and we see the decisions he has made in his life that lead up to this event. This does not justify his decision, but we’re able to see a transformation in life events—not a simple mental health blame—that brings him to make a deadly decision.

Consultations with Others
A lot of critics believe that this is a misrepresentation or a too realistic representation of what individuals go through with mental health or sexual assault. And here’s the thing: everyone is different and we all have gone through our own experiences. Some people want their story to be heard, while others want to keep it to themselves. Some people may want others to understand the reality of what they go through, while others may believe that it is unnecessary or an injustice. 13 Reasons Why is not trying to explain the entirety of these concepts. It’s simply telling one story—one that may or may not match your story. The team behind the show consulted with many individuals—health care professionals, victims, family members—while creating the scenes. Although some people may have warned against airing the contents of the show, they received a lot of support from others. For example, the actress who plays Jessica called family member who is a rape survivor. She was so grateful that they didn’t shy away from the ugliness of rape because she believes that that’s only way that people are really going to understand their mind and what they have to go through.

Beyond the Reasons
At the end of Seasons 1 and 2, I highly recommend watching “Beyond the Reasons,” which help break down the topics and any lingering questions from each of the seasons. The desires I had involving a better discussion of mental health are better addressed in these short films. For example, Beyond the Reasons: Season 1 touches on topics such as cyberbullying being a big generational concern, the importance of providing emotional education, the consequences of the Bystander Effect, the importance of teaching what real consent looks like, and the severity of victim-shaming. Beyond the Reasons: Season 2 involves a series of panels that address major themes, such as Intervention, Justice, Recovery, Complicity of Silence and Complicated Relationships. These are the discussions that this show is starting and that are so important to be a part of. They bring in the cast, producers, writers, professionals and family members to contribute to and share their part of the conversation.

A major message the show is trying to promote is that there is life beyond what you may be feeling at the moment, there are people in your life who truly care about you, and suicide may not be the easy, pain free route you may think it is. I’m a big proponent for pro-choice, and people following the path they think is best for them. And I understand where people who contemplate suicide are coming from. But at this point in my life, I truly believe there are other options—options that may take time and effort for a while—that will allow you to happily live the life you deserve to live. And those options are only possible with efforts like 13 Reasons Why that enable us to educate and communicate about the important things in life.