Dear Aunty & Uncle: Let’s Talk About Anti-Blackness

Dear Aunty & Uncle,

Last time, we talked about Equity.

Now, some of you may be thinking, “but we are not a part of the problem.”

And even if we are not outwardly racist, we are still a part of the problem. I know this is where things may get more uncomfortable and personal, but many of our previous discussions have prepared us to have this very important conversation today. Let’s try not to get defensive, but instead be open to conversations! Today, let’s talk about ANTI-BLACKNESS.

Quick Exercise

I want you to close your eyes and think about a Black person in America.

What do they look like?
Where are they standing?
What are they wearing?
What are they doing?
Who are they with?

Now, do that same exercise while thinking about a South Asian person in America.

Let’s talk about why we may have had those images in our minds.

What is Anti-Blackness?

Anti-Blackness refers to the biases, prejudices (preset opinions that are not always based on actual reasoning or experiences), and racism [(overt racism: done more openly) and (covert racism: disguised and more hidden)] against Black people.

Anti-Blackness basically occurs when society fails to recognize Black people’s humanity. Instead of looking at an individual Black person’s character, intelligence, personality, or achievements, we categorize the entire race as being unworthy or below us.

South Asian Community

We know that not all South Asians are highly educated, have a high socio-economic status, or are law-abiding citizens of America. Yet, some of us embrace being labelled as “model minorities,” because it makes us look good.

But post 9/11, when we were being racially attacked for being South Asian, we did not want people to categorize our entire community based off of the horrible actions of a few individuals. Because we knew not all South Asians were terrorists.

Even personally, we all know some South Asians who are horrible to be around. Yet, we never categorize our entire community based off of a few bad interactions. Because we know not all South Asians are bad.

We can’t stand people negatively generalizing our communities. Yet, at the same time, we judge an entire race based on stereotypes we’ve mistakingly learned to accept as the truth over the years.

Beliefs Engrained in our Minds

We aren’t saying that we think all of our family members are complete racists.

Instead, we want to show you how the beliefs passed down through generations, the “news worthy” stories we see on media, the people we grow up around and the environment we live in all have taught us Anti-black beliefs–whether we are aware of them or not.

For example, take a look at this graphic:

Instagram post by @varunnair92

We don’t want our kids to get darker, marry Black people, go to certain neighborhoods, and so much more.

We do and say all those things (and more), but do we ever question why we even think those things in the first place?

Why do we want to have lighter skin? Who told us we needed to have lighter skin when we were born with brown skin? Why is white skin better than black skin?

Have we ever had bad interactions with Black people? Good interactions? Then why are we generalizing all Black people the way we do? Have we ever had good interactions with South Asians? Bad interactions? Then why don’t we generalize South Asians the same way?

There are so many things we have just taken for granted, because that is what we have been taught–through history, conversations, entertainment, and media. And we’ve never questioned those things because they don’t seem to affect us or cause harm.

We brush things off as jokes, we act like we don’t really mean what we say, or we tell others they shouldn’t take these things so seriously. But what we learn, say, and do at home reflects in what we apply at school, work, and life in the the real world.

Even if we think we’re not causing harm, we are hurting and devaluing other people’s lives.

If people didn’t want to look like us, we would care. If people wouldn’t let their kids marry us, we would care. If people were told to be scared of us, we would care. If people wouldn’t hire us, we would care. If people were killing us, we would care.

Just because it makes us uncomfortable, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care.

Acknowledging Our Biases & Anti-Blackness

In order to make changes in the workplace, schools, public areas, and around the world, we first have to acknowledge that anti-black and racist beliefs exist in our own homes and communities.

And together, we can unlearn the unfair, disrespectful, and dehumanizing biases and racism that we have learned and accepted to be unharmful throughout generations.

Thank you again for another great discussion! I hope you’re better able to understand how anti-blackness has been engrained in communities over the years and how we can start unlearning it in order to make changes in the world. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about your concerns of how “we are doing our part,” “we treat everyone equally” or “it’s better to just stay silent” and the importance of being an anti-racist.💕