Shopping for moms is always the hardest. They say they would be happy with any gift; yet, the earrings you bought for your mom five years ago are sitting in the corner of her bottom drawer. They say that they would be fine with just a few hours of your time; but you know that they deserve so much more. They say they don’t need anything from you; and in reality, you know that there is nothing you can buy them to match their love.
Every year, for her birthday, my mom asks for just one thing: for us to be happy.
Ever since she found out about my depression and anxiety, I think she has wished for that gift even more. I am so fortunate that my parents have been trying to understand and learn about mental health and illnesses related to mental health a lot more in the past few years. However, there is still so much that I wish was easier to explain.
Many people believe that my depression comes back every time I become sad; and to change it, I should just become happy. If only it were that simple! My depression is not coming and going whenever something sad happens in my life. And trying to be happy should not mean ignoring my sadness.
But I still try to understand why they may think this is the case. And I wanted to make that myth go away.
Every year, on my Dada’s (Mom’s father’s) birthday and death anniversary, I immediately transform into someone with an irritated and bad mood for the entire day. Even if I forget what day it is, my behavior likes to remind me–which in turn makes me even less optimistic. Somehow, I made myself believe that I cannot be happy or celebrate those days–somehow, I let myself become an unpleasant person to be around.
We usually have birthday parties or dinners to celebrate birthdays for people who are living. However, after someone passes away, we wish them a happy birthday in our heads or post a picture on Facebook. I became so used to celebrating birthdays while being surrounded by loved ones for someone who is alive; but just respecting an individual on their birthday after they pass away.
I know some people may find it weird to celebrate a birthday after someone passes away, but I came to learn that people do in fact do this. Whether it’s cutting a cake, having dinner with friends or family, or just doing something with the people you love–spending a day celebrating the life of someone instead of mourning or ignoring it is just a better option in my opinion!
This past year, I have become a little isolated from family and friends because of my own academic endeavors. I do not have any free time since I have a lot going on in order to make up for my past few years of struggling. Because of that, I hate that I have not gotten the chance to see or talk to a lot of you guys. What’s even worse is that despite being home, I barely get to spend time with my own parents because I’m always at Starbucks or in my room studying. But this is just something I want to and need to do for myself! (btw I really appreciate everyone who is so understanding and supportive of what I’m trying to accomplish)
Anyone who knows me knows that I care about my parents more than anything and that I cannot bear to see them upset. Because my parents were emotional about my sister leaving for grad school and about me being so overwhelmed with work, I decided to plan a special weekend for them. The plan was to show my parents that even though I’m stressed, I’m still happy.
I’m still me–whether I’m stressed, happy, mad or sad!
For once, on my Dada’s birthday or death anniversary, I wanted to make sure that I did not wake up yelling at any of my friends or being grumpy with my family members (if you’re a victim of this, IM SOSOSO SORRY!!). Instead, I wanted to spend the days being happy, appreciating all the good in our lives and spending time with my family!
On June 28, 2017, while my sister was in Europe, I made my parents take a day off of work. I woke up at 5 am, went to Walgreens to print out cute little itineraries, made breakfast and decorated our kitchen for them. We spent the day at Top Golf, were supposed to go paddle boating (but it rained), watched Tubelight, had reservations at a fancy Italian restaurant and then ended the day with Indian dessert (paan and mango kulfi).
I planned our staycation for the weekend of my Dada’s birthday since my sister would be back by then too. In their many years of being in America, my parents have never really treated themselves since they always put me and Puja before their own lives. So, we decided to treat them to the best of our very own city (well the best that both of us could afford on our own ). We did all the touristy stuff we had time for–but mostly just ate the entire weekend ). Here is a basic schedule of our staycation:
August 11, 2017:
-Checked into Embassy Suites (near Michigan Ave.)
-Embassy Suites Reception: complimentary snacks and drinks
-Pub Royale (English style Indian pub) for drinks and snacks
-Nighttime Stroll around Chicago
August 12, 2017:
-Hop on Hop Off Bus Tour
-Chinatown
-Rolled Ice Cream
-More Embassy Suites complimentary snacks and drinks
-Pizza at our favorite Pequod’s
-Cake at Signature Lounge for Dada
August 13, 2017:
-Navy Pier exploring
-Lots of selfies
-Parents’ first time at a rooftop bar (Cindy’s)
-Rally/Protest
-Millenium Park
-Ended the weekend with their favorite Taco Bell
We did a lot of different things in those 3 days–some planned and some unexpectedly. However, it included a lot of firsts for my parents, even more laughs, and most importantly invaluable moments spent together.
My mom wanted me to compile a video of our entire stay, so here it is! Sorry about the super long and bad editing . I have my LSAT in two weeks, so this is the best I could do! Don’t worry mom, I’ll fix it for you after the exam (along with everything else I said I’ll do after…)
BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE HUMAN BEINGS IN THE WORLD. Without you, I would not be anything close to the person I am today. Thank you for giving me life, being my own superhero, staying by my side every single day (especially the past few months), teaching me about the power of unconditional love and being someone I can always call my best friend. Love you so much mummy!!!
