My last post was more about the first step I usually have to deal with when I’m hit with a new mental health struggle–taking time for myself and doing whatever it is that I need to do to figure out what situation I’m dealing with.
This first step usually involves a lot of crying, being alone, and feeling miserable.
I know some people thought that the post was very dark. But that’s honestly just the reality for some people. We have to not just go through those dark times, but embrace that we’re in those places before we can take our next steps.
I’m not the biggest fan of phrases revolved around “wipe your tears away and be strong” or “stop crying and do something about it.” If you’re like me, you need to shed those tears to be strong. And if you’re like me, you are doing something about it while crying.
Keep letting those emotions out to yourself; but now it’s time to realize that it’s okay to not be okay. However, instead of getting to a point of feeling miserable on your own, try taking the next step of interacting with others.
One of the hardest things for me to do, even though I urge all of you to do it all the time, is to reach out to people when I’m struggling. Even though I act like I’m so much better with putting my needs first, I hate feeling like I’m annoying people or worrying them. I either feel like 1) I’m being dramatic, my problems aren’t actually that big of a deal, and I shouldn’t bug people; or 2) that what I’m going though is actually so concerning that I shouldn’t be burdening others by sharing.
So I stay quiet.
Too many of us do this, way too often.
Even if you feel like you’re being a drama queen–talk to your loved ones. They signed up to hear this “drama.” And more often than not, it’s not really drama. It’s something you’re entitled to get off of your shoulders.
Even if what you’re going through is so concerning that you don’t want to concern others–talk to your loved ones. If you yourself are realizing that this is something unbearable, you need to let others in on it.
Your concerns have value. Your struggle is not trivial. Your words are meant to be heard. And you deserve to feel love and supported.
So reach out, because people are waiting to prove that you and your struggles are worthy of being heard.
Everyone goes through a variety of their own struggles throughout their lifetimes. There are some battles that are objectively known to be accompanied by unimaginable hardships.
And then some of us go through battles that cannot objectively be understood. Aside from the physical symptoms or resulting behaviors associated with mental health illnesses, a large part of what we experience happens internally and in our minds.
Because others can’t always see what we’re experiencing, it’s true that not everyone understands the severity of our conditions.
On top of that, whenever I go through something, I always hold a belief that life could always be a lot worse. There are people going through things that I would never be able to imagine.
But that does not belittle your current experiences.
Yes you may not be in a war zone, undergoing chemo, or anything else that we as a society know to be difficult and life-threatening hardships.
But you are still struggling.
You’re struggling in a way that only you can articulate. It’s difficult. And it can be life-threatening.
But others cannot know that or its severity unless you reach out and explain it.
Mental health is still a topic that isn’t well known or understood. But people are more willing to learn now. Even though some of the symptoms basically involve creating a living hell that controls your mind, it’s time to disprove that myth that “it’s all in your head.” Because it’s not that at all.
Your struggles are real and your symptoms are legitimate. If you’re in pain, reaching out can help make things even a little better.
Even though I keep urging others to reach out, I know how hard it can be. Those “demons” that people talk about take over some people’s every move. Even if people want to reach out, they are unable to.
So it’s up to these individuals’ support systems to step up.
Reach out to your loved ones and make sure they’re okay. If you know someone who has a history of struggling with mental health, take the time to check up on them.
You don’t know how much of a difference you can make in a person’s life by just asking them how they’re doing. A simple text or phone call can bring some light into someone’s life. A small gesture from your end can even save somebody’s life.
Let them know that you care and that you love them. Because there are unimaginable forces telling them otherwise.
I usually am a firm believer in doing good and meaningful deeds without expecting anything in return. However, checking up on, supporting, and being there for loved ones should unquestionably be a two way street.
Share the love and care that you would want to receive yourself. You never know what someone may be going through and a small act of kindness on your end can change another person’s life forever.
“I’m fine” may be the biggest lie you’ll hear from someone who struggles with mental health.
Your friend may be trying to make herself or you believe that she’s fine, but in reality she may be struggling and needs your help. Your cousin may say he’s fantastic, but in reality may be falling apart and doesn’t know how to ask for help. Your classmate may seem to be happy and have life put together, but in reality they may feel worthless and need support.
A “happy” person may still be struggling. Someone’s mental health illness may be a lifelong battle whether they show it or not.
So don’t brush their health off in these moments. It’s up to all of us to simply be kind to one another, be a true friend & family member, and allow people’s voices to be heard <3
